Babaji: if you and him married, do you ever ask him what ultimate sex game he fantasize with?

 No.

Babaji: why not?

I told you yesterday and everyone. I cannot take it anymore. I already drank down so much. One side you want me to glorify my day on the video, the other was a real ancient setting of inequality ? When you do come back, what kind of the world you want to turn for everyone? Men’s paradise ? Heaven means? I know exactly what that mean with the massacred women subjects. You cannot stand those stupid women disciple came in with lust, thinking they have a better game to play. There is a reason I become the Only, and there are 194 country filled with the modern equality? I am the one receiving the grade reports. Do you see how many people die on that monitor every single day? I have a mood to go and tell Eben, what might be your ultimate game as a dead end or simply “offering”?

Babaji: he never says about that to me. You can leash your temper on him, but to me?

He doesn’t know! He doesn’t know! He doesn’t know!!

Babaji: I think his associate well aware he knows that you know things. You just don’t trust enough to tell him or you just have no love for the guy for real, like cold, or you have a reason not to tell him. So made into a video to describe your frustration. How many girls are the contest to dance in front of him? You cannot just be that one of girls he see? It’s just a tape, a saying and a presentation.

I already say TOO much, exactly things I saw, feel and done. He doesn’t feel the cut, I feel the cut. Cuts in my hearts.

Babaji: so I say tell him about it on the video; let him seen how you are doing ? Can be at least see you after crying these much days, he cares?

No, I don’t NEED him to care.

Babaji: you think Eben is like me, don’t care about people’s feeling? Not with what you go through, he doesn’t have a feeling.

My day is raining none stop since the day I met him with Nick. So many years, the rains never stop. I look exactly fine to go and knock on his door? I cannot even come out a word. I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t need his sympathy. Don’t even tell me what a couple do with what communication or the power understanding. There is no understanding. It’s what man’s wants, do you hear what I said? Because they can built this world alone totally fine ALONE!!!

Babaji: you went too far behind in the ancient time. Maybe you should rest a bit before you say that again to hurt Eben. He has a heart. I don’t have a heart. But that you shouldn’t putting him in the same shoes like me. Know he cares. 

No, I SAID I DONT need his care! Man doesn’t need a feeling. I don’t need a feeling. I have a job description to deliver. Apparently I say it last night. The rest they can all go and figuring out.

Babaji: Then make him cares. Do something he can turn around. Not this you don’t need him but me exist scenario. 

You and have a deal, I know that. But I am afraid I cannot keep doing this anymore. You are pushing me to the limits. There are 194 countries on the line stand by. The most fastest update news they have to received EVERY SINGLR day. I grow to put aside what feeling is not a feeling for them. Shame no shame makes no difference. Any girl who, wants to display before a man, if it’s like you say, make an entry video of his Eben’s own beauty pagent. I can just tell him, “I am coming from outside, the rains never stop.”

Babaji: then say that to him on the video.

My tears will come out.

Babaji: like now ... anyone wants to get her a tissue.

No, I can get it myself.

Babaji: there is nothing wrong to feel raining all the time. They would all tell you that they have a hard life, hard time living in this world. There are so many inspirational speech you can listen to.

I don’t need you or him sympathy. THAT is not how I WORK to survive my spirituality. It’s just without going to bother him, I feel better inside.

Babaji: I don’t think that’s what he thinks. Maybe he wants to be in the missionary so he cares about the people, listening to what they been through and comfer them.

I SAID, I DONT NEED IT. I don’t believe a thing he believes. I don’t believe anything at all with this world what to offer me.

Babsji: then make him understand. He is chosen. 

Don’t start with that word.

Babaji: if all man are like you say, that worse bad, at least give them a chance to talk to each other. 

I said DONT.